u'r not beautiful

I just realized yesterday how stupid and ridiculous is my behavior.It s almost summer.And what I'm doing is so childish.Since the day I saw u last time I m trying to check your page on fb every time I open my laptop.I'm doing that every day.Every fucking day I m trying to find something new,to get to know even just a little bit about your private life,cause the only way I can see you is facebook.No wait it s not true, not only fb.I can see you in my dreams ,I can even create a perfect love story where u and I together.I can imagine us watching the waves on a beach and it s just two of us in the whole world.And u love me.And I love u as nobody in this world.What can I do to make u mine?If i can do anything.
[Image]I am waiting for u,but what for?U never promised me anything.So why am I waiting?Do u know the answer?Probably not cause even i don't.You r not the one I always was dreaming about,you don t have perfect appearance and body,u'r not so smart and clever,u r not those one I was looking for.You'r not even beautiful.You'r fucking perfect.Turn into reality ,come back.

There is nothing in this world that can refresh your memories better than different smells.So this weekends brought me to my past several times making me feel a little sad.I went to the russian store on Saturday.There so many different Russian specific dishes in that shop,like ''sirniki,varenniki,golubci''(idk if i should explain what that is but believe me it s tasty) and other interesting things that I did not try for a long time.But i still remember how it tastes and smells,because my grandmother used to cook it a lot when I was back home.So I imagined my grandparents at the village working at the garden,then our dinner together,then grandma and I watching TV,then my elder sisters come visit and we are eating ,laughing,playing cards and watching TV again.How much fun it was.How lovely those summer evenings were and how different I were.Oh actually no.I was not different,I was the same but I was a little child with no problems.I don't know if I changed a lot since that time ,but time definitely changed.I'm older,more responsible and serious,my sisters 'r older having their jobs ,families and new interests,my grandparents are older,tired and already sick.I enjoy my present,I m exited about my future but sometimes I really miss my past.Sweet and mild.Like a teaspoon of honey.That's how nostalgia smells.